I’ve been asked “what do you do” numerous times. In the past, I tended to focus on the events and “tools” in which I’m trained. Recently, I was challenged to come up with a 30-60 second “pitch” stating what I do. They say is “you have to market yourself.”

Most people don’t have any idea what a spiritual director or companion does. It’s been my experience that even fewer people consider spirituality important and of value, which I find surprising. I’ve always felt a deep desire to connect to something larger than myself. For as long as I can remember, I’ve asked “who am I? why am I here? and what is all THIS about?”

What I’ve learned through years of experience is the specifics of the answers to these questions may be different for everyone but those who ask them to recognize we are spiritual beings having a human experience. They want someone to help them discover their own answers.

Spirituality is a way of connecting with something larger than yourself even if you don’t believe in a specific religion or faith. Spirituality is what gives your life meaning, purpose and finding peace within yourself.

Spirituality can be about your values, the things that inspire you or how you make sense of the world. It’s not necessarily tied to a particular belief system although it can be for some. Spirituality is the search for what makes YOU feel grounded and centered. It is about what makes you feel connected to others in community.

Practically speaking, there is a plethora of processes and tools to support growing and nurturing your spirituality. They include things like mindfulness, meditation, prayer, self-reflection, living with intention, learning ways to manage difficult emotions, balance mental health and reduce stress and boost creativity.

I know what it means to crash and burn and put a ton of energy and effort into doing the work to rise from the ashes. I experienced illness, the loss of a career, and the death of my mother in less than a year. I know the challenges of healing and re-making myself. I know what it means to surrender to Spirit and trust the process of becoming something different and new.

You may not believe that Spirit exists – that there is a greater consciousness, presence or evolutionary intelligence that guides your life forward and this Spirit is concerned about YOU. That’s okay. You may not ask the “who, what and why” questions noted above. Spiritual coaching is not for you, then.

But . . . if you are asking questions about meaning and purpose, desire a more peaceful and intentional way of living then Spiritual Direction is for you! I operate under the assumption that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.

After working with me, people feel seen and, heard, have a deeper sense of inner knowledge and meaning, and have practical tools for continued spiritual growth and transformation.

You may seek spiritual coaching for a reason such as a desire to manage stress through meditation, discerning and navigating change, or seeking support as a caregiver. Spiritual direction can also be accessed for a season such as moving through mid-life or entering retirement or wanting support during spiritual seasons of dryness, waiting, grinding or challenges.

In some cases, you may continue to see your spiritual coach for a lifetime because he or she has become a trusted friend and provides a safe and confidential space for you to be authentic and genuine. One client wrote “working with Christy through spiritual direction was such a blessing.  She introduced me to the SoulCollage® process as a way to give voice to questions about spirituality I didn’t know I had, as well as answers I already had.  Her retreat space is inviting and restful in a beautiful nature setting.  I would recommend her spiritual direction and retreats to anyone looking to explore spirituality in a safe and nonjudgmental environment.” Jennifer P. Indiana

Spiritual direction is not for everyone. It is for the person seeking to live fully and live deeply feeling connected to something larger than themselves called Spirit. We ARE spiritual beings on a human journey.

Let’s talk. I want to hear your story and support your journey.

Autumn teaches us that things end, and we are invited to release and let go.

Years ago, I shared some of my thoughts and reflections about the Serenity prayer and how it has helped me in “letting go” The Serenity Prayer: Changing What I Can – Listening Heart The Serenity Prayer – Accepting what I cannot change – Listening Heart Serenity prayer: . . . and the wisdom to know the difference – Listening Heart

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Reinhold Niebuhr

I return to these simple and profound words. Although, I’m not a “friend of Bill’s”, I know family and friends who are. Did you know that almost 21 million Americans have at least one addiction, but only 10% receive treatment? Furthermore, social researcher, Brene Brown, said we are the most in-debt, obese, addicted and medicated adult cohort in U.S. history.

But what is addiction? “Addiction is a relationship between a person and an object or activity. With addiction, the object or activity becomes increasingly more important while previously important activities become less important. Ultimately, addiction is about the complex struggle between acting on impulse and resisting that impulse. When this struggle is causing suffering related to health, family, work, and other activities of everyday life, addiction might be involved.” https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/what-is-addiction-2-2017061914490

Addiction is an attachment to something, someone or some idea that causes disruption and even suffering. Buddhist philosophy regards attachment as the cause of suffering. According to Buddhism, suffering arises from attaching to desires, people, things, ideas because we create a sense of dependency and expectation which leads to disappointment, frustration, and pain when those attachments are lost.

We attach to social media, to technologies, to food, to scrolling through our devices. We crave attention, acceptance, adulation and the number of “hits” on our social media posts. We hold on to past hurts unable to forgive or forget. We worry about the future. We worry about things about which we have no control.

And we often feel alone and lonely. The latest Healthy Minds Monthly Poll from the American Psychiatric Association (APA) finds that, early in 2024, 30% of adults say they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year, while 10% say they are lonely every day. Healthy relationships are crucial to our development and our spirits.

Finding balance in our relationships and in our minds and hearts is key. We can end suffering by noticing our cravings and unhealthy attachments. We can open our hands and hold everything loosely and be a curious observer of phenomenon and experiences.

Many writers and organizations and speakers remind us again and again “these are challenging times”. That may be true. Every age has its challenges. I refuse to dwell on the idea that this is a “dark night of the soul”. Several organizations – and spiritual writers – seem “stuck” on the idea this is a dark and dangerous time and continue to wallow in feelings of helplessness.

And so I return to the wisdom of the serenity prayer and ask “what can I control and change? what is out of my control to change? and where can I find wisdom?” I invite you to reflect on these questions.

Recently, I offered the serenity prayer in a social media forum as a way of navigating recent events. I was summarily told I was engaging in “spiritual bypassing”! Huh? Having no idea what this meant I looked it up. Apparently, offering a prayer and encouraging folks to “let go” of what they cannot control is wrong! This term was coined in the 1980s by psychologists to identify a defense mechanism rooted in “religion” to deal with difficult emotions.

Sadly, my suggestion to “let go” of what one cannot control was judged as detrimental and wrong. The incorporation of the serenity prayer into my core values and my prayer during an incredibly difficult time of grief and loss, allowed me to heal and move beyond that darkness ten years ago. My point in sharing the Serenity prayer is rooted in my belief that attachments to outcomes cause suffering. You can only control what you can control. Nothing more.

My invitation to everyone is to lean into difficult emotions, feelings of loss and helplessness. DO NOT allow yourself to be consumed by wallowing in “woe is us” and “it’s the end of life as we know it.” Understand and let go of what you cannot change or control.

Discover what you can change. Ninety-nine percent of the time what you CAN change is yourself.

Blessings ~ Christy

Imagine if you could have a safe, confidential place to be heard, to share your deepest thoughts, to sit in prayer and meditation with a trusted friend. A spiritual companion, an anam cara, provides such a place. I am here. Contact me to schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation.

Expectant Waiting: A SoulCollage® Advent, is a four-week online series held Saturdays in December exploring the four themes of Advent. 

Each weekly workshop will focus on the themes found in Christian liturgical celebrations in the weeks prior to Christmas – Hope, Peace, Joy, and Love.

Advent is the season of waiting and preparing for the celebration of birth of Jesus, who is Light to the world. In this time of waiting and anticipating the coming of Light, we will embrace “waiting” by visiting the themes and invite them to companion us. Through the energy of the Advent themes, we make “real” the Christmas message and its place in our lives. 

In the northern hemisphere, it is also a time of waiting for the return of light – a time when the days slowly become “longer”. In Celtic spirituality, it is time of anticipating the winter solstice – the shortest day of the year, when day light hours are at their fewest and spring feels like another world away.  Yet, from the day of the winter solstice onwards, the daylight hours slowly increase, making way for a return of life on the land.

After an opening ritual of quiet meditation and contemplation, followed by a short presentation, participants will reflect on the theme for that week and create cards in a quiet and contemplative environment. Participants will be invited to share in breakout sessions using the I am One Who SoulCollage® process, writing a prayer, writing a pantoum or using some other reflection process to meet and great each week’s theme. The experience will conclude with a closing ritual.

Each session, if purchased individually is $50 per session, however, if you sign up for all FOUR weekly sessions, the fee is $180 – a savings of $20.  Use the link https://listening-heart.com/events/ to register. You will receive a Zoom link to access the workshops after registering through my website.