In Praise of Sadness

I was searching for a specific handout for a workshop I was developing and ran across 5 others on various topics but did not find the handout I was seeking! Murphy’s law? Perhaps.

Among those 5 other handouts, was a collection of poetry for times of loss and grief from an in-service for pastoral care work I participated in several years ago. I glanced through a couple poems but one grabbed my attention because of the title – In Praise of Sadness.

 In Praise of Sadness
 Fr. Robert Morneau 
  
 Is happiness overvalued, 
 this life of jolly contentment?
 And is sadness a disease, 
 afflicting all who experience loss?
 Though the great St. Paul preached rejoicing always, 
 he knew great sorrow and constant anguish.
 Though Abraham Lincoln enjoyed the state, 
 his melancholy never left him.
 Does the happy hour eradicate life’s weariness?
 Is there no room for the sad hour,
 when one embraces the losses of life?
  
 I pause to praise sadness,
 a significant component of the human condition,
 a catalyst for change,
 a gateway into compassion.
  
 Sadness may even be the cause for greatness
 as Lincoln, van Gogh, and Beethoven knew.

It had not occurred to me that sadness should be praised. It should be welcomed as part of our human condition. Pema Chodron wrote years ago in her book “When Things Fall Apart” about leaning in to things. For me, it made me understand that I don’t have to dive in headfirst into sadness in order to solve it or fix it. Tenderly leaning in with compassion and understanding is what is needed.

This poem reminded me of the yin/yang of life. Accepting sorrow, melancholy, uncertainty is yin receptivity while rejoicing and celebrating are more yang in their active nature. Fr. Morneau reminds me that greatness came from the depth of sadness. How different would our lives be without the Gettysburg address, the swirling blue of a starry night or the grandeur of the 9th symphony?

Sadness, melancholy, grief, loss, uncertainty and anxiety may be the fertile ground for creativity and greatness.

Grateful for insight. Grateful for all human emotions. Grateful for All.

Blessings, Christy

(This blog is not intended to serve as individual spiritual direction. Spiritual direction and spiritual companioning is typically done face to face in a confidential setting or can be done via Zoom or other virtual platform. If you would like to explore one on one spiritual companioning, group companioning, SoulCollage©, the Labyrinth or Reiki, please contact me. If you, your faith group, your church or your book club would like to know more about spiritual companioning, please contact me to schedule an informational workshop. In the meantime, my hope is that the photos and this blog serve as a pause in your day, food for thought, or just a reminder to breathe in and breathe out all that is holy and good. The Divine Milieu is all around us. Thank you all for prayers, vibes, positive energy and support.)

May You Live in Interesting Times

There is an old Irish toast, I believe, which goes something like “may you live in interesting times”. I don’t know about you but I’ll forgo interesting for dull and boring at this point.

I’m probably showing my age, but I cannot seem to recall in my lifetime a more uncertain and scary time than now. I’m old enough to remember the turbulent 1960s through the television screen showing protests, riots, burning cities, injured and bleeding people and through the lens of my parents’ comments.

Coming to terms with family of origin stuff – and the messages I heard growing up in Germany/Dutch influenced stoicism in the midst of a world pandemic, civil unrest and a divisive political scene is not for the faint hearted! Trust me on this. I wondered what my parents thought when the world was coming apart in the 1960s. I wonder if they questioned starting a family in the midst of all that chaos.

I’ve questioned a number of choices I made earlier this year in the midst of the pandemic and societal upheaval. I thought I was handling things and then a couple weeks ago I lost my footing and my center. It was like an unexpected wave knocked my feet out from under me. It was as if I was taken under into the darkness and the more I struggled the deeper I went. I let go.

One sliver of light pierced the dark water. One possibly TWO vaccines are about to be released soon to deal with the pandemic. To borrow from Forrest Gump, “well, that’s good. One less thing to worry about.”

Hope. In that instant I caught a glimpse of what my parents generation experienced during the war years and the years that followed. They didn’t quit. They didn’t give up. They learned that fear itself is the greater enemy. “We can do it” was the rally cry.

So, forgive me if I moan and complain a bit and then gently remind me to accept what I can’t change. Change what I can. Sometimes you have to let go.

Journal or Reflection Prompts

Write what is “interesting” about these times. Where do you see hope?

What spiritual practices have supported you during this time? What have you changed because something no longer works for you? How did you feel before and after that change?

What creative practices affirm and nourish you? Are you being invited to explore and “play” with other practices?

Write a toast in thanksgiving for all you have received.

This blog is not intended to serve as individual spiritual direction. Spiritual direction and spiritual companioning is typically done face to face in a confidential setting or can be done via Zoom or other virtual platform. If you would like to explore one on one spiritual companioning, group companioning, SoulCollage©, the Labyrinth or Reiki, please contact me. If you, your faith group, your church or your book club would like to know more about spiritual companioning, please contact me to schedule an informational workshop. In the meantime, my hope is that the photos and this blog serve as a pause in your day, food for thought, or just a reminder to breathe in and breathe out all that is holy and good. The Divine Milieu is all around us. Thank you all for prayers, vibes, positive energy and support.)

An Invitation to Be

My favorite time of the day is morning. I’ve never really been a morning person per se. It always took quite a bit of effort – and more caffeine – to get going when I didn’t have as much say so over my days and scheduling in the past.

I’m fortunate to be in a position where my days are a bit more leisure. I still use an alarm but it is not set as early as it once was. I’ve learned to appreciate my own body’s rhythms. I still have one cup of coffee sometimes half-caf, sometimes de-caf on alternating days. Too many caffeine laden mornings manifests as my feeling less centered and more anxious. I pay attention to that.

I selfishly guard my mornings. They are times for contemplation, reflection, prayer, for labyrinth walking and a time to be. I crave contemplation and need it like I need to breathe. It is a time to dwell in God space sending forth loving kindness to all beings. Busy mind or monkey mind is present but given a piece of scripture or mantra to contemplate befriends it and it too, settles into solitude and quiet. The Beloved is present inviting me to just be. Be here now. Be present to my breath. Listen. Listen to the sounds of silence. Feel the rhythms of Creation.

On this lovely early autumn Sunday morning as I made my coffee (caffeinated this time), I heard the “eeeeee” of the red tail hawk who co-exists in our woods. She invited me to come and see, come and be. I walked to the back yard. I heard her before I saw her. She flew low over the tree tops calling out to me. “See, see, see”

She took a hard right bank and I had to turn around quickly to follow her, spilling drops of coffee in the process. Another sharp right and she sailed out of sight. I had turned around to face my labyrinth. I heard the invitation. “Come and see. Come and be”

I set down my coffee cup. I walked clockwise around the labyrinth to open it and “warm” it arriving at the opening.  As I stood at the opening, I centered and took a few deep breaths. What do I need to let go of to take the next step for today, for the week, for the next month and so on? What am I invited to release this day?

And so I walked. Slowly. Listening. Feeling a slight breeze hinting cooler temperatures are on the way. I see the golden rays of light illuminating emerging yellow and red leaves. Two shag bark hickory trees and an oak hold space for me bearing witness to my solitary steps. Turn after turn.

That which is Center receives me. I am grateful for the seat my husband made from a stained and polyurethaned log. “Come sit a spell. Receive. Receive Grace, Love, Connection, Peace. Come and just be.” I remain. Doing nothing. Being everything. It is as if I’m being filled like my coffee cup. All being poured out in abundance. Mistakes and errors forgotten. I see. I hear. I sense. I breathe. “All will be well. All manner of things will be well.”

One more millisecond of receiving Goodness and Cosmic Grace and then I step to begin to return. Using the same path to return as I did to walk inward, I leave the center bringing with me a sense of peace, calm, and connection with Creation and Creator.

This is today’s labyrinth walk. Tomorrow’s walk may be different. It probably will be because I will be different. Everyone’s experience of the labyrinth is unique to them. There is no “right” or “wrong” way to walk the path of the labyrinth.

The last of my coffee is cold sacrificed for the sake of a walk in the labyrinth. No worries! It was worth every last drop.

Journal or Reflection Prompts

What calls you to “just be”? What is your favorite part of the day? Are you in tune with your natural rhythms? If you could change one thing to get closer to your natural rhythm, what might that be?

What contemplative prayer/meditation practices affirm and nourish you? Are you being invited to explore and “play” with other practices?

What do you need to release or let go of to take the next step for today? Tomorrow? This week? This month? For your life?

You can finger “walk” a labyrinth using a paper labyrinth or a lap labyrinth. https://www.relax4life.com/download-paper-finger-labyrinths/

Veriditas Labyrinth trainer Catherine Anderson offers a self guided online workshop to create a 12”x12” collage labyrinth which you can walk using your fingertips.  https://vimeo.com/159389186 I am in the process of creating my own collage labyrinth.

Project Labyrinth

Labyrinth b. August 2020

Solvitur Ambulando “It is solved by walking”. This quote is attributed to St. Augustine. Walking prayer. Walking meditation. Peace in every step. I’ve experienced the peace of walking a labyrinth and after attending a Verditas https://www.veriditas.org/ facilitator training workshop in January, 2020, I knew I had to build one in our backyard.

If you’ve attended a workshop or retreat, you’ve probably experienced that burst of energy which follows where you are ready to make changes in lifestyle or begin creating from what you’ve learned. I’m no different. Even though it was still winter, I was ready to start building! Gung ho! Here we go! Let’s do it!

Wait . . . how do I do this? What will I need? Where will I put it? Can I persuade my husband to not only agree to tear up the backyard but to help with the heavy lifting? Should I contract with a landscaper to do it and what will that cost? What kind of materials should I use? So many questions!

In many ways I feel like I birthed this into existence. I carried the intention in my heart for months. It started with a seed of an idea – I knew I was going to bring a labyrinth into existence this year but I wasn’t sure it was going to be in my backyard. Yet, here it is August 11th, the Feast of St. Clare of Assisi and there is a new baby labyrinth blessing my space. Along the way, I participated in an online workshop through Veriditas. Lars Howlett facilitated a 3 day workshop for building temporary labyrinths for labyrinth facilitators. We had “class” online for a couple hours and then we were given “homework”. I learned a great deal about constructing labyrinths and even more about myself.

I learned that sometimes I need to remove my “thinking cap” and trust the process. Relax, I heard that small voice. Just breathe. I also learned that you will eventually use geometry some time in your life and you should remember the difference between radius and circumference!

Giving life to this labyrinth involved quite a bit of labor – back breaking, labored breathing, sweaty labor. At each stage, I documented creating it’s creation by taking photos. We started with a patch of grass and several steps and weeks later, we had the labyrinth in the above photo.

I’ve walked my baby labyrinth a couple times. Because it is a 5 circuit heart of Chartres labyrinth, I’ve quickly learned I need to SLOW DOWN to navigate the turns which is an excellent lesson for my life. Slow down. Breathe. If I don’t take the turns slowly, I become a little dizzy and disoriented. I’ve learned I must navigate what appears to be an abrupt turn with deliberate patience and intentionally or I will become disoriented.

I’ve written elsewhere https://listening-heart.com/labyrinth/ providing some background and information about labyrinths. In a nutshell it is a tool for a sacred experience. It is a container for the Unknowable. As we walk inward, we release and let go of whatever – stress, worry, fear, anger. We enter the center and receive from Source all that is good and holy. We may hear a word or get a feeling. We allow ourselves to relax and just be. We take the same path back out of the center, returning and bringing with us what we received.

When I walk my labyrinth, I know I am not alone. Hundreds of thousands of fellow pilgrims throughout history and currently throughout the world have walked this path. One step at a time.

On evening of August 20th, my ladies group will meet for the first time face to face since the big lock down. We will meet on the back deck, engaging in social distancing and wearing masks. Please join us between 6 PM and 7 PM EST from wherever you are as we bless the labyrinth. Send your healing thoughts, prayers, and energy of Light and Grace.

Now, more than ever, we should walk the labyrinth. We should walk for peace and compassion. We should walk to slow down and breathe. We walk to let go, to receive and to return to a wounded and confusing world. One step at a time. Walk. Release. Receive. Return.

Be well. Be safe. Blessings.

Christy

P.S. For all who embrace Catholic Christian feast days, be blessed on this feast of St. Clare of Assisi. St. Clare wrote to her dear friend Lady Agnus of Prague to gaze upon Jesus, consider him, contemplate him and as one desires, imitate him. What this means to me is to look and see Jesus’ love which surrounds us and consider the events of his short life and what that means for persons of faith. Contemplate and remember the unconditional compassion he had for others, for those on the margins, for the lost and lonely and for those who made mistakes. Remember his great Love and Compassion and keep it in your heart. And if you desire, as you feel called, imitate Jesus in all that you do. Be just and kind and loving. Forgive. Love others. Love yourself and love the Creator by whatever name you call Him/Her.

This blog is not intended to serve as individual spiritual direction. Spiritual direction and spiritual companioning is typically done face to face in a confidential setting or can be done via Zoom or other virtual platform. If you would like to explore one on one spiritual companioning, group companioning, SoulCollage©, the Labyrinth or Reiki, please contact me. If you, your faith group, your church or your book club would like to know more about spiritual companioning, please contact me to schedule an informational workshop. In the meantime, my hope is that the photos and this blog serve as a pause in your day, food for thought, or just a reminder to breathe in and breathe out all that is holy and good. The Divine Milieu is all around us. Thank you all for prayers, vibes, positive energy and support.)

Go gently . . .

I have avoided writing for some time now. I suppose, like most people, I’m fatigued. Zoom fatigued. COVID19 fatigued, Change fatigued. Decision fatigued. Why are you so racist? Fatigued. Wear a mask and avoid people fatigued.

I’m tired. I’m grumpy and if there was a dwarf named angry, I’d be her too!

And I don’t have answers. I only have more and more questions. I seem to lack the energy to pick up those questions, pull them apart and chew on them.

I have lots of opinions based on my critical analysis of what I read and hear. Thinking, analyzing and critiquing are my go tos when I’m fatigued and overwhelmed. And I tend to stay there. I tend to get stuck in the thoughts.

I won’t burden you with my thoughts and opinions about COVID19 or race relations. I’ll refrain from sharing my thoughts and insights. I’m afraid it will only further divide or I will be subject to even great scrutiny or it will sound defensive. I don’t feel right about it right now. Maybe later. For now, I’ll do the work through journaling, SoulCollage, reading and other things.

I think the uncertainty of what to blog in this somewhat public space is that I’m still ruminating with things and I don’t feel completely free to express myself. Simply put – I feel incredibly vulnerable in this space at times.

And alone – I feel alone with my grief, rage, uncertainty, insecurity, and abandonment. In one respect I’m no different from the rest of the humans on the planet, I suppose. I think some are able to consider it less than I do. Yet, I look at my situation and count the many blessings I have. I still have that lingering anxiety and fear. Pema Chodron suggests we lean into fear and anxiety, embrace it with compassion and develop a heart of the bodisattva for ourselves. Jesus teaches to love our neighbor as ourselves.

In a nutshell, it seems we need to show compassion to ourselves, to our wandering minds, to our aching hearts, and even befriend those naysayers in our minds and hearts. The message is – Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Just take a step.

We started the process of creating a labyrinth in our backyard a few weeks ago. There is the practical pieces of how and what materials and laying it out but there is also the spiritual aspect of the construction. Labyrinths have existed for thousands of years and labyrinth is an archetypal a symbol of a journey. At one time, labyrinths graced the floors of cathedrals throughout Europe where pilgrims could walk them symbolizing a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. Their journey began with taking a first step. The path toward the center is the same path to return.

I sent an intention at the beginning of this process asking for patience, perseverance, hope and above all Grace. Hope that we will complete the construction. Hope that it will provide a place of peace and a walk of peace for me and for those with whom I share it. And Grace for the project.

Go gently. Take one step at a time. Set your daily intention for patience, perseverance, hope and Grace. If I can provide company and companion you on your journey, please reach out. I remind you that you are not alone and in doing so, I remind myself.

Peace and all good. Be well. Be safe. Blessings.

Christy

This blog is not intended to serve as individual spiritual direction. Spiritual direction and spiritual companioning is typically done face to face in a confidential setting or can be done via Zoom or other virtual platform. If you would like to explore one on one spiritual companioning, group companioning, SoulCollage©, the Labyrinth or Reiki, please contact me. If you, your faith group, your church or your book club would like to know more about spiritual companioning, please contact me to schedule an informational workshop. In the meantime, my hope is that the photos and this blog serve as a pause in your day, food for thought, or just a reminder to breathe in and breathe out all that is holy and good. The Divine Milieu is all around us. Thank you all for prayers, vibes, positive energy and support.)