I recently had a virtual conversation with a good friend. Even though we live about 2 hours apart, we have refrained from getting together for our usual Mexican food and drinks for almost a year. I haven’t eaten out inside a restaurant for almost as long. I miss conversations with my friend so we decided to catch up via a face to face platform.
We always seem to talk about things of substance and this time was no different. Yet, it seemed the conversation always came back to COVID19, how we were doing, what changes we made, what we missed, how we felt, plans for next year, and so on. No matter what we talked about we always seemed to end up mentioning it in some fashion although we had acknowledged we were tired of talking about it.
COVID19 and its implications seem to pervade every aspect of our lives like the proverbial elephant in the room – always there and present even if we don’t acknowledge it. I told my friend that I missed certainty and stability and mused are we ever truly certain and stable.
In the grand scheme of the Universe are we collectively at a threshold for “something”? Are we at the threshold? In liminal space? Many people much wiser than I seem to think so and point to all kinds of evidence observed in politics, technology, sociology, spirituality and religious institutions. I feel like a Forest Gump “well, I don’t know about that.”
In many respects, I don’t know. I theorize and ruminate on things I see. I bemoan and grieve loss and change. In my best moments I am able to navigate my ship into uncharted waters full of anticipation for the adventure which awaits. I’ll be okay. I’ll manage. All things will be made new and this old world will pass into a new one.
And in those moments when I’m not as aware or mindful, my ship seems to be anchored off shore lacking a spirit filled crew while it’s captain (me) hides alone below deck in the dark grieving for what was. I know I cannot return to the safe harbor because it is not there. I am adrift in a sea of loss and uncertainty without an anchor. Life as I once knew it is forever changed.
Being on a spiritual path does not prevent me from facing uncertainty and insecurity – even darkness – but the spiritual path teaches me how to use those things as tools to grow. I may not always engage in those practices and I have those who love and care about me to remind me to do them!
So, I breathe. I return to the most simple and basic form of prayer and meditation I know. I notice my breath, the feel of it through my nostrils and throat and chest and take it down into the depth of my being. I “breathe” into key energy centers, the chakras, connecting myself to the energy within. Sometimes I feel a need to chant Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God” allowing it to flow into and through my body.
It becomes my safe harbor and anchor in the present moment. It is Certainty. It is Present Presence. In the quiet stillness all which is known and needs to be known is the great I Am.
Threshold. Liminal space. Transitions, Change. Movement toward the unknown. Letting go. Free falling. Working without a net. Adrift.
What feelings do these words evoke in you? What are you called to let go of at the end of 2020 in order to embrace 2021?
I invite you to sit comfortably for just 5 minutes and breathe. Notice your breath. Simply breath as you normally would taking the in breath through your nose and down into your lungs. As you exhale, feel the breath flow out of your lungs, past your through and your lips. Whatever thoughts and feelings arise, let them pass by. Often a sacred word or a piece of scripture provides a bit of focus. Yah-whey and ru-ahh are two Hebrew words which I use as breath prayers. Yeshu-ahh, the Hebrew form of Jesus is another.
Breathe and let go and just be.
Blessings – Christy
(This blog is not intended to serve as individual spiritual direction. Spiritual direction and spiritual companioning is typically done face to face in a confidential setting or can be done via Zoom or other virtual platform. If you would like to explore one on one spiritual companioning, group companioning, SoulCollage©, the Labyrinth or Reiki, please contact me. If you, your faith group, your church or your book club would like to know more about spiritual companioning, please contact me to schedule an informational workshop. In the meantime, my hope is that the photos and this blog serve as a pause in your day, food for thought, or just a reminder to breathe in and breathe out all that is holy and good. The Divine Milieu is all around us. Thank you all for prayers, vibes, positive energy and support.)